Hard boiled critics? GET POACHED!
Are you tired of long-winded dissections that microanalyze entertainment down to its subatomic level? Tired of Alien Isolation getting a 5.9 while Call of Duty gets an 8? Trade in the corporate shillery and hypercritical opinions of incel virgins for the Stankometer today! Inspired by Einstein’s theory of relativity, the Stankometer is the most refined review system ever to grace the internet. Gone are complex percentages and calculus level score designations. It doesn’t have to be complicated! To quote Gerard Butler in James Cameron’s Gladiator, the only question you should be asking yourself is, “Are you not entertained?!”
Welcome to ROTTEN EGGS.
Game reviews without the grills. Game news without the frills.
STANKOMETER
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STANK
"I know you'd like to think your shit don't stank, but lean a lil' bit closer, see roses really smell like poo-poo-ooh." - Outkast
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FROMUNDA
"Fix your musk, you'll be just another one bit the dust. Kiss my butt, lick from unda cheese from under my nuts." - Eminem
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BLUE
"Put the work steady blue cheese in the bag. My life I'm livin it fast. One thing I cannot do is go out sad." - Takeoff
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DANK
"I'm not Dr. Dre, but I don't want nuttin' but The Chronic. This dank keep me comin' back like I'm hooked on phonics." - Master P